i am a piranha in the a-ma-zon!

        I will begin my apologizing in advance if any of my spelling is ridiculous. I’m a bit tired and lately I’ve been messing up really simple words. Yesterday I spelled “baby” like “babie” and I “maid” the bed. Maybe I just have a thing for myself right now. Haha. Is that too clever, is it clever at all? Ok, moving on.
        The reason I’m kind of tired is because I wake up at 7 every freaking day! Even with all of the time changes we go through, it’s always 7 because that’s when the sun comes up and I always forget to close the shades at night.  Then, once I get up I can’t motivate myself to go back to sleep because I want coffee and a croissant and breakfast is only served from 7-8:30.  I’m usually not too hungry in the mornings but today I had a chocolate croissant, peach yogurt and coffee.
        We got back on to the boat last from Brazil. Coming back was AMAZING.  I know that because of my specific circumstances I was dying to be back “home” but I wasn’t sure how everyone else would feel.  As soon as I turned my passport back in and put my bags down I rat outside to our hang out spot and waited. Within 15 minutes the first groups of my friends started coming out and it was tackling hugs all around while screaming as fast as we could at each other random things that had happened and laughing uncontrollably.  This continued and repeated itself for the next hour until 5:30 hit and we all ran to dinner, starving.
        Brazil was definitely an interesting experience. Not what I expected, but I’m learning quickly that expectations are a waste of time. For those who don’t know my itinerary, I went on an SAS sponsored trip spending two days on a riverboat in the Amazon followed by a red-eye to Rio, two days there and a 5 am flight back to the boat where we would board a half hour before on-board time.
        First thing Sunday morning I said good-bye to all of my friends and boarded the riverboat. I was a bit freaked out because it was literally me, 20 sorority girls and three guys. There are very few people on this trip that I dislike but there is one group of (I’m sad to say) rich, Jewish girls who are obnoxious, rude, self-centered and feel like they are better than everyone else and entitled to everything.  Because of this I got a slow start and spent a lot of my riverboat time doing my own thing, but that wasn’t necessarily bad as I have barely spent any time alone since I’ve been here.
        The first day we started by going to see “the meeting of waters”  where the Rio Negro, which is black, meets the Rio Solimoes, which is brown.  I’ll post some pictures as soon as I have internet in port.  Following that we went to a small market on the water to see giant water lilies.  While there we saw two crocodiles which was awesome! Y’all know how I freak out about the wildlife.  There was also a little market where I bought an AMAZING headdress and two maracas.  I fear it may have been made from the feathers of an endangered species ( =( ) because the feathers are definitely real but I will cherish it forever and keep it high on my shelf as long as it isn’t seized by the Wildlife and Fisheries Agency is customs.  There was a total language barrier when I was trying to buy it and I ended up accidentally bargaining. The woman wrote down $40 which I thought was a fine deal but all I had was an $100 bill. I kept trying to ask if she had change and motioning my hands in the “smaller” position and she thought I was saying “less” and we went through this until it got down to $25 and some guy came over who also didn’t speak English but understood what I was trying to do through my elaborate sign language and found me change.  Pictures to come. I won’t be saying that again, because there are pictures to come of everything.
        We left the market and had a five-hour ride to this lake, I can’t recall the name. This was a bit frustrating because we hadn’t been told and I had brought NOTHING to do… no ipod, no book, no homework, and neither had anyone else.  They gave us our hammocks to set up for that evenings sleep and everyone ended up napping the afternoon away as it was too hot to sit in the sun anyway.
        We eventually docked and had dinner on the boat and by this time it was dark.  All 30 of us then piled in to a tiny boat, like one of those little ones that looks like a motorized canoe that is used for fishing, and we jetted out in to the abyss, no one really sure what was happening. The stars however were amazing. I thought we would get good stars on the MV Explorer but there are too many lights everywhere and we’ve seen barely any. Here, though, it was totally dark. The second I put my head up I saw a shooting star right across the sky. I made a wish fast and I’m glad I did because that was the only shooting star I saw all night.
        As we got farther and farther in to the middle of the Amazon and heard more and more animal sounds I honestly began to get a bit freaked out. Our guide was shining his light back and forth over the water so quickly I thought it impossible he could find anything and found it unlikely our mission – which we discovered was to catch a caiman – would be successful.
        Wrong I was! All of a sudden I heard a quick splash, a gasp and he stood at the front of the boat holding a tiny crocodile in his hands, one hand around it’s neck and the other on it’s tail!  It was probably around 1.5 ft long. He began to tell us about it, showing us his belly and making him open his mouth so we could see his teeth (so cute!).  There was a piece of his tail missing – it had been bitten off by a piranha and we could see the bite marks.
        I thought that was it, but he then proceeded to pass the caiman around the boat so we could all hold it and take a picture! Unfortunately the girl who took my picture is the only person on the boat who can’t use a camera and it’s not really a good shot but I do have photographic evidence.
        Around 9 we got back to the boat, hung out and got ready for bed. Now that I think about it we might have had dinner at this point and not before but I can’t exactly remember.
        Going to sleep was an experience – sleeping in a hammock literally within a 20 foot radius of 35 other people is difficult. If one person’s hammock started swinging it would bump the others and everyone started swinging. You could also hear EVERYTHING.
        Previously mentioned entitled girls kept everyone up for about three hours. That is not an exaggeration. It may have been longer, but that is when I finally fell asleep. She started with stories about her car accidents which were actually quite entertaining but it terrified me to hear the things she had actually done while driving and I can’t believe she still has her license. Following was an elaborate discussion of all things Chicago. The mechanisms of the best pizza, the best shopping, the best shoe stores, mutual friends, etc. It was the most boring conversation I have ever heard and I typically love eavesdropping.  I finally passed out and actually got a decent night of sleep in my hammock. It’s really comfortable! When leaving the boat I ended up buying it for $20 and it’s way nicer than anything you could get for that price in the US.
        The next morning we woke up at 5:30 to go piranha fishing. We loaded right back up in to our tiny dingy and headed about 200 meters away from the boat we had been on and literally places sticks with string and meat on the end in to the water.  We sat there wondering if anyone would catch anything when someone felt a tug and flung their stick out of the water – empty.  We all slowly raising our sticks and discovered that the sneaky piranha had eaten the meat off of everybody’s fishing pole! They are obviously very experienced.
        Two students ended up catching piranha and the guides caught three. I didn’t catch any but I wasn’t really disappointed. They just threw them in to the bottom of the boat to eat for dinner later and there was a little water so myself and the three other girls in back just watched them die for about an hour =/
        Our last stop was a locals house a jungle walk.  At this mans house he showed us how he lives which was very cool. I can’t really tell you because than I’d have to kill you. No but really I just can’t remember/pronounce any of the fruits and nuts he grows and sells so I would just be making things up.
        Eventually we got back on the boat for our long ride home and I saw two awesome things. One, outside of a little house boat (there are many house boats along the river) was a family outside feeding fish to a wild dolphin. It was really cute. I love the degree to which the people who live in Amazonia live in harmony with nature. Next, we passed a little boat with a boy in it who could not have been older than seven. With him in the boat was a small caiman, tied up, and a sloth sitting around his soldier. YEAH, A FREAKIN SLOTH. I am soooo jealous. All I wanted to do was hang out with a sloth, I was talking about it all week, and I didn’t get to. And THEN, I got back to the boat to find out ALL OF MY FRIENDS HUNG OUT WITH SLOTHS. I’m beyond jealous.
        Oh, one other crucial detail. As we’re about to leave we hear a splash and run to look over the side of the boat. It was our guide swimming in the water! We all freaked out for a split second before realizing it was intentional and he asked us all to join him. People stared in disbelief before realizing he was serious.
        “Won’t the piranhas bite you?”
        “I haven’t been bitten yet.”
        I started to get back in to my hammock, content to be warm and dry, when I realized that this may be my only opportunity ever to swim in the Amazon.  And I didn’t go to Brazil to be an American in a hammock, I went to do what the locals do, so I threw on my bathing suit and jumped in. It was awesome!  The water was really warm and while I was a bit paranoid I got comfortable real quick.  
        We were told that there are certain areas of the Amazon where you can’t even put your finger in the water for a second and you will probably get it bitten off but luckily this wasn’t one of them.  We were also told, however, about an American researched who had her legs dangling in the water and was then dragged in and had them bitten off by a crocodile. Terrifying. Luckily, she survived, and is now on a book tour.     

        Eventually we got back to the MV Explorer and it was about 4:30pm. We had to be back in the Union at 11:15pm to catch a flight to Rio.  At this point I got some unsettling news which threw me off a bit. I didn’t know where any of my friends were because they were out and about in Manaus so I did the only thing I could – got my computer, out on some calm music and went out to our spot. After sitting there for ten minutes I heard my name. 
        “JORDYN?!?!?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!?!!”
        Mia and Mackenzie had been on their way to get water and glanced to see if anyone was around.  They came outside, I filled them in on the previous few days and they decided we had to get drunk immediately.  I was directed to go to my room, shower, get my make-up and go to Mia’s room to “get dolled up.”
        Around 7:30 we made out way out in to Manaus. I’m going to be straight up – no one wants to be those assholes hanging out at the port bar, but Manaus was TERRIFYING! It was Mia, Mackenzie, Kayla, Sam, Coleman and I and we did not feel save. 5 girls and the most zenned out hippie on the boat and we were not prepared to lose our money so we went right back to the port bar as we only had a few hours anyway.
        (Side note, this is not us being paranoid – we had multiple lectures about the dangers of Brazil, travel in groups, etc and within three hours of docking there were THREE muggings.  We just didn’t want to risk it before I had to catch a flight).  
        We spent a few hours drinking and I went back to the boat to go to Rio.  Traveling was a bit difficult in my state but it turned out for the best because I passed out on the plane no problem.  After traveling all night we got to Rio in the am to start touring.

Ok, I have been writing for awhile now and am losing focus so I am going to write the Rio part of this entry alter. I hope everyone is doing well at home!!!